Fizz’s Top 5 “Don’t Get Got” Colorado Tourist Traps

Cave of the Winds (Colorado Springs)
Cool cave, sure… but the full “experience” can turn into a greatest-hits album of add-ons, ticket tiers, and gift shop swag.

16th Street (Denver)
Now that the construction is FINALLY done, you came for a “downtown experience,” you stayed for the same chain spots you have at home, and a guy trying to hand you something you definitely don’t want.

The “Rocky Mountain Oysters” Dare Menu
Every out-of-towner gets talked into it like it’s a sacred Colorado tradition. It’s not. It’s a prank with a garnish and a $19.99 price tag.

Garden of the Gods Parking-Lot Madness (Colorado Springs)
The rocks are stunning. The traffic, tour buses, and “where do I put my car?” energy can make it feel like you’re sightseeing inside a Costco lot.

I-70 Mountain Town “Scenic Stop” Shopping Traps
You pull off for gas… and somehow you’re carrying a $38 hoodie that says “COLORADO,” a candle that smells like “alpine vibes,” and zero memories besides the receipt.

Overpriced Ski-Resort Base Village Everything
The mountain is epic. The $24 burger, $11 hot chocolate, and parking situation that requires a small loan? That’s the trap. Eat before you get there and thank me later.