I’m a strong, independent woman…I’m a great okay driver…I’m a feminist and yet I HATE being the driver with a man in the passenger seat. What is wrong with me? I don’t care if we’re going to the grocery store or going on a date – I don’t like driving. As I’m venturing into this dating world I am quickly realizing that not only do I not want to drive a guy, I also want a guy who opens my door. This honestly goes against every feminist belief I have, but it’s my truth. I’ll drive and meet you someplace, but buddy you’re not riding in the passenger seat unless I’m picking you up from a bar at 3am.
This little nuance about myself has been bothering me so much that I had to go and find the definition of feminism. According to Merriam-Webster, “ the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.” Okay- I believe in equality, I just don’t want to drive. That being said, I will also say I’d be really upset if a guy wouldn’t let me drive because he didn’t think I could do it. No. That’s not okay either. You must accept that I’m a ‘good’ driver, capable but that I just don’t want to drive while you ride next to me. Just like hanging my curtain rods by myself, I can do it…I just don’t want to. Is this crazy vs. feminism? Is this why guys find us so crazy mysterious perplexing?
I’ve asked myself why I have such an aversion to driving a date. I picture it and the first thing that comes to mind is that I feel like a mom driving a man. Honestly, I feel like I should be handing him a juice box and goldfish crackers. I drive my daughter everywhere and the front passenger seat – that’s her spot. So the driver me…that’s mine =mom. I don’t remember having these strong feelings when I was single and dating in my 20’s, but today it really bugs me. Trust me I’m driving myself crazy with this nuance! I mean who cares?! If we’re equal and in an equal partnership why does it matter who drives when we go someplace?
The way I see it is that as we get older (I mean really old here) there will come a time when the ‘healthiest’ partner drives. That is inevitable. So for now, buddy it’s all you. I of course can drive and will tell you I’m a great driver, but I really like it when you just assume you’re driving. That being said I also feel like as the passenger I get to help you when I see you going the wrong way or taking the longest known possible route. I mean really, you’re driving but that doesn’t mean you’re in control. It just means that I’m sitting over here not having to pay as much attention to the roads and can be extra helpful. Helpful also means asking why you just passed the closest parking spot and are still looking for one?!.
Me Driving……My amazing parking jobs