Creating a Positive – Happy Home

I choose happy.  I choose being positive and finding the best in people.  I generally like people and I really do believe that most of us are doing the best we know how to do.  I’ve been told this is Pollyanna and maybe it is but I don’t see that as a negative.  I think of the incredible people that I communicate with on Facebook, many whom I’ve never met, but who touch my heart.  I think of the woman who listens to the radio station and is bringing me cheesecake next week – just because she can.  I see the pictures of the people pouring into Houston to help people they’ve never met.  How can I not focus on the good in people and want to put a spotlight on the kindness? When I hear someone say, “I hate people” it makes me sad and I think how short sighted that statement is.  Look at Houston as an example – we could focus on the few looters or the thousands doing all they can to help.

Our country has been in such turmoil for so long over politics, sexual orientation, race, gender…lots of issues.  For some reason we have adopted the thinking that we can’t like someone that we disagree with.  It also seems like we feel the need to convert people to our way of thinking, versus loving and accepting them for who they are. Maybe I’m an anomaly but I honestly enjoy hearing someone’s different point of view!  I will say that I understand not wanting to be in a deep relationship with someone who you have strongly opposing views with, but does that mean we can’t be friends with people we disagree with?   I hope not! I love what Sandra Bullock supposedly said about the victims in Houston, ‘There are no politics in eight feet of water, there are people in eight feet of water.” Amen sister!

I’m hoping as a single mom to highlight kindness in my home and help my daughter develop a loving heart towards all people.  We’ve had many talks about finding the good in people even, when we disagree with them.  As a pre-teen she can get into the cycle of complaining and after one painful episode I sat her down for a mom talk.  I told her complaining and pointing out the negatives in life is NOT how our home works.  We look for and seek out what is good. The way I explained it to her is if we are constantly looking for the positive and feeling grateful, we’ll grow those things in our hearts (ever read the Cherokee legend – Two Wolves?).  I also told her we all have bad days and bad things happen and it’s okay to be honest about that part of life too.  That to me is a balance…being negative the majority of the time is not a balance

Besides highlighting the good in life, as a single parent I also get to decide on the tone and topics in my home.  For me, nothing is off limits as long as we’re having an honest, open and respectful discussion.  I’ve talked to my daughter about religion, politics, gay marriage, civil rights, being a strong woman… as well as the smaller things like the importance of saying thank you when anyone holds a door open for you.  I want for her to have the freedom to discuss what she is thinking and feeling and figure out why.  I’m trying to give her the freedom to think through issues, but also give her a moral compass to lead with love, integrity and kindness for all people.  As a single mom, I want to help her develop a strong sense of who she is and feel her own worth. There is incredible freedom in knowing who you are, what you believe in and that you are worthy.  I really believe that if we feel that about ourselves we are more likely to see the good in other people as well. I like kindness. I like people and their stories and yes, I can be a little Pollyanna at times.  Honestly though given the choice of seeing the good vs. the bad, I’ll be Pollyanna any ol’ day

xoxo Melissa

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